December 2009
8 posts
The Popcorn Pants Fairy Strikes Again
Went to see Avatar with a friend today. The plot was predictable but it was visually amazing. If you see it…see it on an IMAX screen. Afterwards 2 hrs and 45 mins later we went to the bathroom and as we’re walking out my friend says, “When I stepped up to the urinal and unzipped my pants…three pieces of popcorn fell out and hit the floor.” I have no idea how this...
1 tag
Sex Pack
Men’s Health was right! Women love a tight 6-pack on dudes. Scientifically, a rippling stomach has the same effect on the female brain as Roofies and Robert Pattison’s constipated, brooding look-COMBINED, look it up, it’s on the internet now, that makes it true! But let’s be honest, I don’t have the will power to work towards one by actually exercising. Nor do I...
3 tags
The Great Burger King Scam of 2009
So this time I got to experience the cheapness of my grandmother-in-law first hand. I stop by her office where my wife helps out some. When I was there, grandma asked me if I wanted to go to Burger King. At the same time she begins to pull out a coupon for a free whopper. I was in a hurry so I said maybe next time. It was obvious I wasn’t getting out of there without taking the coupon....
I'm calling bullshit.
So I’m pretty sure that no woman would want a pap smear as a present. And a Jewish woman…well…I’ll just stop here.
Not gonna bore ya...
But I lost my job. So now I’m working at the restaurant that I worked before “the job”. This should provide many insightful and/or retarded stories. Up first: Today a guy ordered a Rueben sandwich with no meat. That’d be a sour-kraut sandwich with thousand island dressing on rye bread. Think about it. Mmmmm…dry, huh.